OK, it’s Monday morning and you have been partying all weekend and you just can’t be asked with work. What do you do? Well, you have one of two options: Man up and face work like everyone else, or you get on that phone and make an excuse.
If someone ever tells you that they love their job, do us a favour and punch them in the face. No one loves their job. Well, bosses may and a select few of you may think you love your job. But there is a big difference between not minding what you do and doing your actually job for free as you love it that much, when in fact it’s all about the money. The more money you are on, the more you love your job.
So now we have established that work suck, I guess now would be the time to tell you our top 10 excuses for being late to work. Well, they are technically real reason for being late and not excuses. But we all know that most of you have intentionally either been late for work, or have not bothered turning up at all.
Blame Public Transport
If you don’t drive and you live far from work then you will rely on public transportation to get to work on time. Many times have we been waiting for a bus for it to turn up late or a train for it to be cancelled. Just make sure you don’t catch the same bus as John who works on admin as the whole thing will fail. Unless, he wishes to be late for work too – this would make the plan more full proof. Quick pint before work, anyone?
You Don’t Feel Well
Ring up work and say you don’t feel well and you have been sick all night or something. Also, phone as soon as you wake up so you have morning voice. To make this excuse more believable, you need to say to a few people in the office the day before that you don’t feel so good – this backs everything up. Just don’t say you have Man flu and then turn up to work the next day.
Family Member is ILL
First of all, if you use this as an excuse then you are a terrible person, haha. Say that a family member isn’t well, such as your Gran, and she has had a bad fall and is now in hospital. I guess the only good thing about this is the boss won’t call your bluff at something as serious as this. But I guess you would need to question what you wouldn’t be willing to use as a work excuse.
You Have to Wait in for Something
Say that you had to wait in for a new washing machine to be fitted and no one else could wait in for it (even better if you live on your own). Tell work that you totally forgot to mention it and that you ordered it a week ago. Then say it won’t happen again and you are sorry. Heck, you could say it for something as simple as an item on eBay too.
Alarm Clock Broke or Didn't go Off
Very rarely will alarm clocks break, but it is possible to forget to set your alarm or simply unplug the wire be accidently tripping over it. And you can’t phone in early to say as you are technically sleeping, so it’s too late by the time you phone in to say your alarm clock broke to go into work anyway. This excuse is only valid for one time only really as it’s too cliché – until it happens for real.
Blame the Traffic
This excuse could easily backfire if many of your colleges live in your surrounding areas, but if they don’t it’s a sure way to waste an hour or so. Everyone knows that between 8 – 9am is known as rush hour so it’s quite possible that you ran into some traffic. Combine this with you woke up late and you hit the bad traffic, to make for an excellent excuse.
Blame the Wife
If all else fails just blame the wife/partner. Why get yourself into trouble if your partner can take the rap for you? One classic excuse would be: The wife is sick so there is no one to look after Billie (your child) so I need to take care of him. As long as Billie doesn’t go to school then this excuse may not only work, but it could provide a few days off work. The same excuse won’t work for your 22 year old son who still lives at home though.
The Car Broke Down
The golden oldie of the broken car will work every time if not overused, as it’s believable and no one is going to question it, especially for the first ever time you use it. Plus with so many things that can go wrong with cars, it’s a genuine reason that people use. Flat tire, it just won’t start, dead battery, the list can go on. If it seems that your boss is a d#ck and he wants proof, it looks like you best get slashing those tires. Oh, and if you don’t drive…unlucky.
Car Keys Have Vanished
If you can’t find your car keys then you can’t use your car…simple. Say you were looking for them for ages and explain how they ended up in a ridiculous place. If you have a child then this excuse is perfect as kids will tend to hide things such as wallets and keys. You could even use the obvious place of them being down behind the sofa too.
Pulled Over by the Police
You could always say that you were pulled over by the police and is why you were late. Don’t say it was for speeding or a red light as your boss may ask for the ticket as proof. Just say it was a random stop and there was nothing wrong. If your boss questions it just tell him, why would you lie about something like that. Make him doubt himself.
Just remember that convincing is the key. The chances are if you don’t believe the excuse, your boss certainly won’t. But hey, for all you know your boss doesn’t give a sh#t and just saying “sorry, I’m late” my not develop any complications apart from the puzzled look on your face as you think, that was easy.