Top 10 Funny Jean-Claude Van Damme Quotes

That time we created an awesome Van Damme post and WordPress decided to delete it! Great, WordPress! Nice job. The post kicked ass… but we forgot what we wrote… so enjoy the following tribute to that post: Top 10 Funny Jean-Claude Van Damme Quotes

10. Van Damme Funny Quote

Funny_Jean-Claude_Van_Damme_Quote_9

I’m the god of cloud karate.

9. Van Damme Funny Quote

Funny_Jean-Claude_Van_Damme_Quote_8

Showing myself nude from behind doesn’t pose any problems but from the front that’s another story. I don’t want to lose all my fans!

8. Van Damme Funny Quote

Funny_Jean-Claude_Van_Damme_Quote_1You don’t need a flash to photograph a rabbit that already has red eyes.

7. Van Damme Funny Quote

Funny_Jean-Claude_Van_Damme_Quote_2

If you phone a psychic and she doesn’t answer the phone before it rings, hang up.

6. Van Damme Funny Quote

Funny_Jean-Claude_Van_Damme_Quote_10

We, humans, invented time. But time doesnt exist, because there’s a matter, a power of compression that isnt the same for every species on Earth

5. Van Damme Funny Quote

Funny_Jean-Claude_Van_Damme_Quote_3

My wife is not my best sexual partner, but she’s good with the housework.

4. Van Damme Funny Quote

Funny_Jean-Claude_Van_Damme_Quote_4

I am fascinated by air. If you remove the air from the sky, all the birds would fall to the ground. And all the planes, too.

3. Van Damme Funny Quote

Funny_Jean-Claude_Van_Damme_Quote_5

If you work with a jackhammer during an earthquake, stop, otherwise you are working for nothing.

2. Van Damme Funny Quote

Funny_Jean-Claude_Van_Damme_Quote_6

Air is beautiful, yet you cannot see it. It’s soft, yet you cannot touch it. Air is a little like my brain.

Van Damme Funny Quote

Funny_Jean-Claude_Van_Damme_Quote_7

I’m fast, why? Because I eat vegetables.