Top 10 Funny Jean-Claude Van Damme Quotes

Sunday, 06 January 2013 17:06

Jean-Claude Van Damme aka the “Muscles from Brussels” aka Jean-Claude Camille François Van Varenberg is an awesome machine of annihilation. With his martial art skills, amazing 90s action movies, the ability to do the splits and taking on 30 guys at once bare hands, you know HE IS THE MAN! But did you know the guy is also a secret Philosopher?

The guy is a legend and he can do no wrong in our eyes and we want to make it clear that this top 10 funny Van Damme quotes post is in no way making fun of the guy – Christ the guy is the next step down from God!

We are uncertain if all of these quotes actually came out of Jean-Claude Van Damme mouth and how many of them have been taken out of context or have been fluctuated. But we sure as hell hope he did say them and they do sound like the sort of things the guy would say.

We love the idea of Jean-Claude being a Philosopher. Hell, the guy should take a leaf out of Arnold Schwarzenegger book and get into politics. It would be amazing if V-D was the next UK’s Prime minister. We don’t care/follow politics, but we sure would if Jean-Claude was running the system.

Van Damme Funny Quote

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We, humans, invented time. But time doesnt exist, because there’s a matter, a power of compression that isnt the same for every species on Earth

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Van Damme Funny Quote

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I’m fast, why? Because I eat vegetables.

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Van Damme Funny Quote

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If you work with a jackhammer during an earthquake, stop, otherwise you are working for nothing.

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Van Damme Funny Quote

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Air is beautiful, yet you cannot see it. It’s soft, yet you cannot touch it. Air is a little like my brain.

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Van Damme Funny Quote

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If you phone a psychic and she doesn’t answer the phone before it rings, hang up.

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Van Damme Funny Quote

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I’m the god of cloud karate.

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Van Damme Funny Quote

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Showing myself nude from behind doesn’t pose any problems but from the front that’s another story. I don’t want to lose all my fans!

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Van Damme Funny Quote

Funny_Jean-Claude_Van_Damme_Quote_1 You don’t need a flash to photograph a rabbit that already has red eyes.

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Van Damme Funny Quote

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I am fascinated by air. If you remove the air from the sky, all the birds would fall to the ground. And all the planes, too.

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Van Damme Funny Quote

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My wife is not my best sexual partner, but she’s good with the housework.

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That’s your lot, folks. What do you think? Do you think Jean-Claude actually said these quotes or do you believe that people have been trying to bend the truth? All of these quotes are floating about online and some have been taken and have been translated from French, just so you know.